Why we don't go to cemeteries?
Several times a week I drive along the 101 freeway thinking about how I hate traffic and speeders. I really never look at the spring flowers or the green mountains, just the cars speeding by me and getting ever so annoyed with the non-carpoolers in the car pool lane. Last week as traffic slowed I came to a very slow crawl and as I looked over I realized there was the cemetery that I pass by all the time. I have been passing by it for years and never look over and certainly never stop. My thoughts started to wander about why I have never stopped.
I started Lilytoday 7 years ago and named it after Lily Berry, Lily who is buried at this cemetary. The cemetary I have only been at the day she was buried. I asked myself why have I never stopped? I quickly changed lanes as traffic began moving and made my way to the side of the cemetary. I parked and tried to remember just where Lily was buried, as I wandered around trying to get my bearings I was unable to remember just where she was. I was determined not to give up so I made my way to the office and asked for her location.
The gentlemen had me follow him to her grave stone. I was not that far off but would have been wondering forever had I not asked. I thought to myself well, her she is now what? What do people do when they go to the cemetary, I had no flowers, nothing to leave there to say someone was here. But what I discovered was it brought up a lot of memories, memories of her reading people's palms, of her loving when the kids and I would bring her Dairy Queen. See my dad passed away years ago and he also said he wanted to be cremated because we would never visit a grave site.
I realize now that by visiting you are letting the person know (if you believe in the afterlife) that you are thinking of them. You don't need to be at the cemetary to have memories of your loved one but the solice of being there just you and your memories can be important in this fast paced world of speeding cars and non-carpoolers.
I will go back, I am not sure when, but now when I drive by I will be thinking of Lily and remember just where she is.